Thursday, January 8, 2009


Retreat Jan 1-4 09

Through life and all our work, sometimes we squeeze out God. And, being the little good boys and girls we are, we find 30 seconds before we go to sleep, and think, Hey, this is a great time to connect. And you wait for 10 seconds and you think, Nothing? I’m done then, and you fall asleep.

And naturally, without God, things, at least our feelings, go down. We start to be spiritually lost and stuff and we start drowning in the sea of our sin and our helplessness. So we’re like, maybe games, work, friends, money, family, and other stuff will get us out of this mess we’re in, but we just throw ourselves deeper and deeper in the hole we’ve dug.

And then you finally cry out to God in the midst of your darkness, and you yell “Where are you!” and you curse at his inability to save you and help you and comfort you until you really turn towards Him and find out that He’s been watching you run from idol to idol, shaking his head sadly, with his arms wide open waiting for you to hug him back. And then you do…and everything is…better than okay.

The thing I realized at the retreat is this: God will not answer when we call Him- He’s already done that, and He will if you honestly do- but rather when we earnestly seek Him we find that He’s gone as far as He could and He’s just waiting for you to take that step toward him.

EDITED 11/30/10 to add this line:

Looking back at this almost 2 years later, I suppose that what I was trying to say in this rambling was that God has never left me; rather, when I thought God had left me, I was really just letting go of God because I didn't have time for Him...

Sad, sad story...

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